It seems as though our society talks about kids weight in just about every context imaginable. Whether it’s talking about physical health, social status, or desirability, weight is always present in the conversation.
But what makes this topic so weird is that the ways that we talk about weight are often confusing and contradictory.
We might hear claims that a certain body type is ideal or attractive, while simultaneously being bombarded by advertisements for unhealthy food.
People can have vastly different ideas of what ‘healthy’ means when it comes to body size. Research has shown that these mixed messages can hurt children’s perceptions of themselves, their body image, and their own weight.
So if we want to help our kids grow up with a healthy sense of self, it’s important that we take a critical look at our society’s strange relationship with weight.
In this blog post, I will point out 5 of the most bizzare ways that we talk about weight – often right in front of children – in the hopes that we can rethink these statements and give our children a healthier relationship with weight.
You look amazing… have you lost weight?
Every day, we greet people with comments about their appearance. “You look amazing… have you lost weight?” And while there’s nothing wrong with being complimentary, it’s strange how often we focus on someone’s weight or losing weight.
In a culture where being thin is prized, commenting on someone’s weight can be seen as a compliment. But in reality, it’s just another way of over-emphasizing people’s bodies. instead of commenting on someone’s weight, try focusing on something else. Compliment their outfit, their hair, or even just their smile. It might seem like a small thing, but it can make a big difference.
When a healthy weight is not the only goal…
It may seem strange to fixate on a goal weight, but there are many reasons why people do. Perhaps the most common reason is a memory of an ideal weight that we recall from our youth. Whether it was at a wedding, vacation, or another momentous occasion, we often reflect on that number as a representation of perfection.
Unfortunately, this can have the effect of forcing us to view ourselves through a limiting lens. It is all too easy to become preoccupied with a number, believing that weight loss can solve all of our problems. People even put off events waiting for their goal weight – I will get in a swim suit (or go on vacation / get family photos / change jobs / buy jeans, etc.) once I weigh my ideal weight.
We might also do better if we acknowledge how much can change in our lives during periods when our weight changes and that a weight 20 years ago may not be a healthy weight for my body now.
Whatever the case may be, it is important to remember that goal weights are ultimately arbitrary and should not be used as the sole measure for evaluating ourselves or our achievements.
Weight loss for a special event…
It’s so weird that we try to lose weight to look better for a specific event. “I want to lose ten pounds by my reunion” And how, probably nobody at that event will even notice, because they are too preoccupied wondering if they themselves look lean. In fact, most people are so focused on their own appearance that they don’t even notice other people’s weight. So why do we go through all the trouble of trying to lose weight for an event? Maybe we just need to learn to love our bodies the way they are. After all, we’re the ones who have to live in them every day – not the people at our reunion!
I was so good today….
How weird it is that we refer to ourselves as “good” or “bad” based upon whether or not we adhered to an eating plan.
Surely there are more important things in our day-to-day that determine whether we were “good” or “bad.” I mean, if you really think about it, what does food have to do with morality? It’s just fuel for our bodies, and yet we allow it to have this weird power over us.
We judge ourselves and others based on what we eat, and it’s just not right. Food is meant to be enjoyed, not used as a weapon against ourselves or others. So the next time you find yourself feeling guilty or ashamed because you ate something “bad,” just remember that food doesn’t define you as a person. You are so much more than what you eat.
How to talk to kids about weight
When it comes to weight, we need to start by breaking the silence. Too often, weight is seen as a taboo subject, but the reality is that weight is just one aspect of our physical health. By talking openly and honestly about weight, we can help our kids to develop a healthy relationship with their bodies.
When it comes to talking to kids about weight, it’s important to keep a few things in mind.
- First, we should try to de-emphasize weight as much as possible. This means avoiding weight talk with friends and family, and making sure our kids understand that their self-worth is not tied to their weight.
- Second, we should focus on helping our kids develop healthy habits like eating nutritious food, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. By teaching our kids to take care of their bodies, we can help them maintain a healthy weight without resorting to dieting or other unhealthy habits.
- Third, we should avoid talking about dieting or setting weight-loss goals. If kids see that adults are focused on losing weight, they may start to feel like they need to lose weight too.
- Fourth, we need to regularly compliment our bodies in front of our children. When children hear compliments that are not weight-based they learn that the functions of the body matter more than the appearance. “My arms are strong, look at all those groceries I carried”
By keeping these things in mind, we can help our kids develop a healthy relationship with their bodies and avoid the harmful effects of diet culture.
If you are trying to help a child lose weight and want to approach it in a thoughtful way, check out our free resources on weightlossforkids.com